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Name: Charles Adam Johnson
Aliases: Charlie, Charlie (UK), Chuck E Cheese, The Urinator
Birth Order: First
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Hazel
Outstanding Talent: Impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger
Looks Like: Mommy, a Davis
Mom Sings to Me: Let's Hear it for the Boy
Named for/Inspired by: Adam's Grandpa, Luis Charles Bodigoi; Emily's Great-Grandpa, Thomas Charles Davis; and this Charlie

I don't know why, but I was worried about having boys. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to bond with them as easily, or love them as freely as I did Elizabeth. I was worried about all the nasty that comes with boys, from cradle through adolescence (and maybe goes away by the time they get off their mission. Maybe.) But all my doubts quickly disappeared the day Charlie was born, as I held him in my arms and fell madly in love. I looked over at my mom and asked how I could ever have thought I would have trouble loving my little boy.


From the get-go, Charlie has been the easiest baby. He was the best nurser. He consistently eats the best (though not the fastest.) He is being treated for reflux, but his is the mildest case by far. He sleeps the best. If I had three Charlies, life would be much easier (though not as interesting, of course.) But he also cries the loudest and often sounds, as his father always points out, like a certain governor of Austrian decent.


Charlie is also the most talkative. He will sit and coo at anything and everything with no prompting.

He was born with an awesomely full head of hair, but sadly it has been thinning. I hope he keeps his dark color, just like Daddy.


Some people say his nose is big. *coughAdamcough* I don't care. He's perfect.

This Is How We Roll

Photo courtesy of Hannah Johnson 2010. All rights reserved.

Dear Diary

I ran out of formula today. It was 10:30 AM, three and a half hours since the triplets' last feeding. I had been doing things that needed to be done since I got up at 7. But somehow the time had slipped by and there I was, half-dressed with wet hair and three time bombs about to go off. I made it back from the bodega that accepts WIC checks before anyone started to cry hysterically, but I still felt like the stronger word for poo. Leaving alone the fact that I could not feed my babies myself, (a pain I can no longer spare any energy on indulging) I couldn't believe that I had let something so important slip my mind. What have I come to?

Sunday was a black day. I was sitting in the corner of the Relief Society room, holding I don't even remember which baby. I think it was Lucy. I was trying to keep her asleep. My entire back felt twisted and weak, with hot, shooting pains radiating in and out of my left shoulder blade. I'd been feeling faint all day, as I was fasting with Adam for extra help with our marriage. Everything seemed a little off. The night before I'd been up multiple times, besides the feeding at 2 AM and consequently, I was dozing in Sunday School (holding a baby) when I'd been awakened by the change of class. Relief Society had started and there I was, listening to a lesson on the Sacrament, and everything all of a sudden became very surreal. There were my friends, sitting in the middle of the room with each other. There was my sister-in-law, texting and playing games on her iPod. There was the teacher, plugging away at the Gospel Principles book. Tears started to drop down my cheeks and my chest got tight.

I am not okay. I am NOT okay. I AM NOT OKAY!! I shouted in my mind. I kept looking around. Would anyone notice I was having a total meltdown over here? I almost started to laugh. Hey! Relief Society! I I need some relief! It was like I could see myself outside of me telling everyone, Stop the lesson! This is an emergency! The girl in the corner who looks like death warmed up needs help! But no one looked my way and I stayed silent. What would I say anyway? What would I want? To pass around a sign up sheet? Please put your name and phone number if you can rescue Emily from herself. We have a calendar marked with the days Emily needs help living her life. If you can live it for her, make a note at the bottom. Yes, we know you've helped her for months but she STILL needs help. *Frownsmile*

So I didn't say a word. The tears stopped. Lucy woke up. I smiled at my friends as class let out.



Bonus points if you get the MJ reference and can name the music video of the image above.

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I felt bad about not putting more effort into my last post (or any at all.) This blog is the closest I come to journaling or scrapbooking or any kind of family history. So I thought I'd talk about the triplets, but one by one. They are, after all, individuals with very different personalities. So ladies first.

Name: Lucy Margaret Johnson
Aliases: Lu Lu, Lucy Lu
Birth Order: Third
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Blue
Distinguishing Feature: Huge Cheeks
Looks Like: Grandma Giovo, Daddy, Miss Piggy
Mom Sings to Me: Oh You Beautiful Doll, Honey Pie
Named for/Inspired by: Lucy Pevensie of the Chronicles of Narnia; Lucy Mack Smith

When I first met Lucy, she looked like this:

and all she looked like to me was one of those Russian dolls. Later, she looked like this:


and all I could think of was my mother in law. No offense to my MIL, but it was a little disconcerting to gaze into my daughter's face and see . . . not me. In all honesty, of all the three, it took the longest with her to feel like she really belonged to me. But then she started to smile, and I was melted butter in her chubby little hand.

Lucy smiles all the time. She coos and gurgles and will probably be the first to laugh. (She was the first to smile.) She's the fastest eater and therefore the one we give to helpers. She also eats the most consistently.

I love how chunky she is. Elizabeth was always on the skinny side and, despite my best efforts, never fulfilled my dreams of a big fat baby. Now I have more rolls and chins than I know what to do with.

Lucy is also the strongest. Though she's small, she's very solidly built. She can hold her head up and can already flip from her front to her back. She also stays happiest the longest during tummy time. She lies there with her hands in front of her, like a Sphinx coolly appraising her little brothers as they whimper and struggle. You can almost hear her. "Come on guys. It's not that hard."


So that's Lucy. Stay tuned for the boys.

Three Months

They are still alive.







.

Happy Turkey

Thanksgiving this year found us once again in Laurel, MD at my aunt and uncle's house. The drive down was a dream. No traffic and no crying. Woohoo!

As you can see, the triplets are getting big.


Elizabeth giving a sense of scale.


They were so big, in fact, that they couldn't sleep side by side in the portacrib.


It was wonderful to have so many helping hands.


Hannah, Adam's sister who is staying with us for a while, was gracious enough to come with us and help out. First and foremost amongst her duties was passing on her legendary Guitar Hero skills. It is the stuff of legend.


She also accompanied me on my first ever Black Friday Crack-o-Dawn Shopping Excursion. There were a few door busters I'd had my eye on and so, after the 3 AM feeding, we threw on some clothes and jumped in the van and made our way to Target. After scoring our new camera for half the price, we went to the nearby mega mall, Arundel Mills.

This place is a mile around and can be seen from space! Okay, so maybe not from space, but definitely from the secret spy cameras in the unmarked helicopters that fly over my uncle's work. (the NSA.) Here is photographic proof that this mall is a BEAST:


And Hannah and I tamed that beast. Oh yes we did. We didn't quit until 11 AM. That's seven straight hours of shopping. By the end of it, my feet were sore, my mind was numb, and I found myself wandering lost and alone in the back of an Old Navy carrying a blouse that I didn't even like to the dressing room. Time to go home. But the savings were insane. I bought stuff from stores I would never be able to afford otherwise. Like the super-cute shirt from Esprit that was originally $80 that I got for $14!!! I've decided the crowds are worth it and that from now on I will be doing ALL my clothes shopping on Black Friday.

Of course, no trip out of NYC would be complete w/out going to see the latest blockbuster. This time it was the much-anticipated Harry Potter 7.0


One word: AWESOME.

The weekend had to end sometime and Sunday found me pretty heavyhearted. Back to Brooklyn. Back to reality. The drive home was almost twice as long and full of babies crying inconsolably. But we made it home in one piece (except my sanity which has been spotty at best lately.) And that was our Thanksgiving! Who's ready for Christmas?

Did She Really Just Say That?

"It's mine! I share with me."

"I need attention!"

An exchange:
"Who do you want to give you your bath? Mommy or Daddy?
Daddy!
Why not mommy?
You burn it!
I burn it?
Yeah. You burn the bath."

Another exchange:
"How was nursery?
Good.
What did you do?
I play, sing songs, eat fishes and crackers.
Who was there? Were your friends there?
Yeah! Garrett and Tommy and London and London was crying and Tommy was crying and . . .
Were you crying?
No. I'm happy."

As we are eating dinner, we hear Adam arriving home from work.
To me: "Daddy's home!"
Shouting over her shoulder: "Daddy! Wash your hands!!"
Ever since the Swine Flu scare, I'm always reminding him to wash his hands after he's ridden on the subway.

"Elizabeth," I say as I sit on the floor, "let's clean up these toys." I start to sing the clean-up song. "Okay," she says, climbing onto the couch. "I watch."

I'm having a rough day and I've burst into tears.
"Mommy! It's okay! Be happy!"

Elizabeth's Blessing of Dinner

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for lunch.
Thank you for mac and cheese.
Thank you for [unintelligible.]
Please bink [?] Mommy and Daddy and Charles and Lucy and Charles . . .

[Mom whispers "and Eddie."]

And Eddie.

[With prompting] In Jesus name,

AMEN!!

Two Months

Can you believe it?

So what have we been up to?

Some of this.

Eddie

Not enough of this.

Charles

And mostly feeling like doing this.

Lucy

We've had a lot of help.

Super Pumpa

Aunt Amy

The Beautiful Soletas

And sometimes it's just me.

We've even managed to get out of the house.


Aren't we the happy family? (Notice the babies are quiet.)


But don't let the smiles fool you. Most days end with us wanting to do this. Is she sleeping or screaming?

Megan, Adam's little sister. What a trooper!

The babies are all chunking up nicely, especially Lucy. They are still eating every three hours and they sleep a lot, though they tend to wake up during naps way too much. It can be rather maddening, playing the binky game.

Lucy has pretty bad reflux and is on a modified formula as well as medicine. And she recently developed thrush, which we're afraid she may have passed to Eddie. So the poor thing gets medicine four times a day. But they're all thriving and for that we're grateful. Charlie is the best eater and sleeper. Eddie is totally caught up with feedings and they all get 4 ounces each time. Best of all, we've started getting smiles out of Lucy and Charles. Since they're 8 1/2 weeks, I figure they're only a few weeks "behind." Tomorrow is their doctor appointment (shots!) so we'll post their stats later. Wish us luck!

Two Years Today

Crazy about this kid.

One Month

We survived. Barely.


The kids are getting along well.


Lucy is by far the chunkiest.


They're all still very sleepy.


Don't let this picture fool you. Most of the time she's pulling hair and grabbing noses. "HONK!"


People wonder how I have time to do anything on the internet. I must confess, it's kind of my drug—an escape I can take five minutes at a time. I should be napping. I should be cleaning. I should be pumping. But this is where I end up.

Our Little Helper

Two Weeks

C, E, and L

Hard to believe. It's been the longest two weeks of my life, that's for sure. Round the clock feedings, near-comatose preemies, and a very excited but very volatile big sister make for some crazy times. But our stress level was significantly reduced when we took them for their weight check on Friday and found out that they all have gained plenty of weight, even Eddie. The doctor says he's in the clear and, though we still feed him more frequently than the other two, he's progressing well and eating at least 2 oz each feeding. HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!! Charlie is over 6 lbs in fact and he and Lucy have exceeded their birth weight.


Our good friend, M, came by one day to take Elizabeth with her and her son to the playground and brought this double-stroller, which she said she was throwing away. I quickly asked if we could have it and she graciously agreed. This is a picture of our first ever excursion. We walked around the block. It was liberating.

Super G-Ma. Adam and I left three sleeping babies for just 45 min and came back to this.

My mom left on Saturday. That was a very hard goodbye. Things have been up and down since. I felt pretty good over the weekend. We managed at night with just the two of us, mostly because Adam kindly fed two babies and I just nursed one. And we had a lot of help on Saturday. But this morning a heavy fog of depression seemed to settle down on me. It's lifted somewhat as the day has gone on, but it varies according to how well feeding, especially nursing, goes. This morning, I couldn't bring myself to face any of it. I had no patience for Elizabeth. I let Adam do everything. I just didn't care. It's hard to feel a deep, bonding love for three newborns at once. At least, it's been hard for me. I never feel like I'm giving enough, and yet I don't know how I can give more and stay alive. For the moment, at least, I'm stable. I hope it lasts.


Charlie, our first-born, was the first to loose his umbilical cord and therefore got to have his first bath. You can't tell by the picture but he liked it. He's a snuggler. He sleeps a lot better being held. But he's also a pain to change his diaper b/c he ALWAYS pees. This is a new thing for me, projectile urination. Lucy is easy-going. She sleeps well and eats well, from a bottle. But she spits up a ton so we put her to bed in her car seat. And Eddie is Eddie. He's just happy to be here. And he's eating more each day. They all are. They still take a lot of attention to feed and I'm just waiting for the day when I can pop a bottle in each mouth and they can do their thing. But until then, I better sign off and get some rest before the next one has to eat.

Sleepy Time

Eddie, Charlie, and Lucy

Eddie somehow ended up in a pink blanket.

Birth story to follow. The whole hospital stay was kind of traumatic so I'm still processing. But we're home. They're healthy. Eddie of course needs all the attention still, and so is having a hard time eating enough. But we're working on it and trying to stay sane on the negligible sleep we're getting.

Meet Lucy, Edward, and Charles

Final Thoughts

My brain seems too scattered to organize my thoughts into something cohesive. So I apologize for the randomness of the following. But I just wanted to put down what I was thinking and feeling the day before the triplets are born.

What a strange thing to know when your child is going to be born. I can see why it would appeal to a certain personality. But I prefer the unknown of spontaneous labor, mostly b/c, as time passes, the number of days I have left have been inversely proportional to how many hours of sleep I get at night.

We still don't know what we're going to name them. We have a list we keep messing with, but we're waiting until we see them. I think, though, that I've just been putting it off. I wish we'd put more time into it. But it's too late now.

It's hard to think I won't be pregnant anymore. GLORIOUS to think, but hard to imagine. I feel like I've been pregnant forever. This has obviously been the harder of the two pregnancies, but from what I've heard and read, I've had a very easy triplet pregnancy. And it's pretty much a miracle I've lasted this long. The average gestational age for triplets is 32 weeks. I read somewhere that 70% of triplet-carrying women had to be hospitalized before delivery. I have felt from early on that everything would be fine with this pregnancy. That I wouldn't loose one of them; that I would carry them as long as possible; that they would be healthy and whole. Whatever their birth weight or the length of their stay in the hospital, I feel very blessed and give all the credit to God.

I often wonder if Elizabeth has any concept of what is about to happen. But then, I don't know if I do either. There are so many unknowns. I am grateful I won't have to re-learn how to be a mother—that I've already been a new mom and won't be gripped by the same fears. But the ins and outs of how we'll care for three newborns and a toddler are like a big, black cloud of uncertainty, hanging over my head. My mom, along with everyone, keeps telling me to just take things one day at a time, one task at a time. Things will work out. But I wish I knew what I was in for. A friend asked about what kind of system or help we have lined up, but with all the variables, I haven't made much preparation, especially since we don't know how long, if at all, they'll be in the NICU. I know the ward is ready to jump in any time. But there are 5, count 'em, 5 other women having babies in the next few months. The poor Relief Society is going to be babied out by the time it's all over. Good thing we're getting ours in first. :) For live-in help, my mom is here until the middle of September, after which Adam will use his vacation time he's saved up to stay home (if he can wait that long.) After that, we're on our own. It will be a baptism by fire, I'm sure. One parent of triplets told me that if our marriage survives the first year, we'll be set for life.

The rest of my thoughts are scattered bits of strollers, epidurals, baby carriers, bottles, hospital gowns, and so on, combined with memories of Elizabeth's birth. How different this one will be!

Lastly, I have been moved and humbled by the outpouring of love and support. Besides many, many generous gifts, we've also gotten many offers of help, prayers, and well wishes. I sincerely thank all of you for your calls, emails, cards, and love. And now, on to the undiscovered country! This is Emily Johnson signing off. See you on the flip side!

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special day.

love birds.

























babies on the way.




































incredible years.