Final Thoughts

My brain seems too scattered to organize my thoughts into something cohesive. So I apologize for the randomness of the following. But I just wanted to put down what I was thinking and feeling the day before the triplets are born.

What a strange thing to know when your child is going to be born. I can see why it would appeal to a certain personality. But I prefer the unknown of spontaneous labor, mostly b/c, as time passes, the number of days I have left have been inversely proportional to how many hours of sleep I get at night.

We still don't know what we're going to name them. We have a list we keep messing with, but we're waiting until we see them. I think, though, that I've just been putting it off. I wish we'd put more time into it. But it's too late now.

It's hard to think I won't be pregnant anymore. GLORIOUS to think, but hard to imagine. I feel like I've been pregnant forever. This has obviously been the harder of the two pregnancies, but from what I've heard and read, I've had a very easy triplet pregnancy. And it's pretty much a miracle I've lasted this long. The average gestational age for triplets is 32 weeks. I read somewhere that 70% of triplet-carrying women had to be hospitalized before delivery. I have felt from early on that everything would be fine with this pregnancy. That I wouldn't loose one of them; that I would carry them as long as possible; that they would be healthy and whole. Whatever their birth weight or the length of their stay in the hospital, I feel very blessed and give all the credit to God.

I often wonder if Elizabeth has any concept of what is about to happen. But then, I don't know if I do either. There are so many unknowns. I am grateful I won't have to re-learn how to be a mother—that I've already been a new mom and won't be gripped by the same fears. But the ins and outs of how we'll care for three newborns and a toddler are like a big, black cloud of uncertainty, hanging over my head. My mom, along with everyone, keeps telling me to just take things one day at a time, one task at a time. Things will work out. But I wish I knew what I was in for. A friend asked about what kind of system or help we have lined up, but with all the variables, I haven't made much preparation, especially since we don't know how long, if at all, they'll be in the NICU. I know the ward is ready to jump in any time. But there are 5, count 'em, 5 other women having babies in the next few months. The poor Relief Society is going to be babied out by the time it's all over. Good thing we're getting ours in first. :) For live-in help, my mom is here until the middle of September, after which Adam will use his vacation time he's saved up to stay home (if he can wait that long.) After that, we're on our own. It will be a baptism by fire, I'm sure. One parent of triplets told me that if our marriage survives the first year, we'll be set for life.

The rest of my thoughts are scattered bits of strollers, epidurals, baby carriers, bottles, hospital gowns, and so on, combined with memories of Elizabeth's birth. How different this one will be!

Lastly, I have been moved and humbled by the outpouring of love and support. Besides many, many generous gifts, we've also gotten many offers of help, prayers, and well wishes. I sincerely thank all of you for your calls, emails, cards, and love. And now, on to the undiscovered country! This is Emily Johnson signing off. See you on the flip side!